The Blue Elephant Brigade

Fyredancer · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 11:06 am Post subject: The Stupid...it burns!!!!!

http://notalwaysright.com/

Stories that are perfect examples of how stupid people really are.
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Resheph · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 11:37 am Post subject:

Hah! That site is so awesome, I can't stop reading!

So far, this is my favorite story. This one had me laughing so hard I woke up my dog.

(I’m working in an electronics retail store, and see a man in his late 40’s with a kid no older then 10.)

Me: “Welcome sir, did you get…”

(I look in his cart and see that it’s mostly filled with identical Spongebob DVDs.)

Me: “… everything?”

Man: “I guess so.”

Boy: “MORE SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!”

Man: “Alright, let’s go get some more.”

(About 5 minutes later he comes back, with more Spongebob DVDs… the same ones, to be exact.)

Man: “Alright, I think this is enough.”

(I ring him up, and the total comes to about $550.00 USD.)

Me: *whispering* “Uhh, sir… these are mostly the same thing.”

Man: “Oh, don’t worry about it. I hate my life anyway.”
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CrushFearSynth · Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 4:44 pm Post subject:

This thread is instantly awesome.
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"The cheese stands alone." - Madhatte

FAWBOTS · Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 2:25 am Post subject:

I laughed out loud when I read this one (Classic):

(Okay, for starters: I am wearing clown makeup, a bright pink wig, and a bright orange shirt with our store’s logo on it in HUGE font. A woman with a bible in one hand and a cross in another comes up to me.)

Woman: “Do you work here?”

Me: “… yes.”

Woman: “YOU WILL ALL BURN IN H*** FOR SELLING THESE ITEMS CELEBRATING SATAN’S HOLIDAY!” *turns to customers* “…AND YOU WILL BURN FOR SUPPORTING THEM!”

Manager, over loudspeaker: “Thank you for shopping at H***Mart! All items are now 6.66% off for the next 6 minutes, 66 seconds. Thank you, and have a nice day!”
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Loupy Lobo · Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:41 pm Post subject:

I got a pretty good laugh out of this one. Sounds like Smitty's honeymoon.

(A young couple with an almost stereotypical southern accent enters the shop, browses around, and pick up some things, then go to the cash desk.)

Me: “Is that everything for you today?”

Woman: “We’re on our honeymoon…”

Me: “Okay… will you be paying with cash, debit, or credit?”

(The man throws some money on the counter, saying nothing.)

Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t take American money.”

Man:“WHY THE &@^# NOT? AMERICA IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!”

Me: “Well, that might be the case, but this isn’t America.”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “This isn’t America. It’s Canada.”

Woman: “But that’s part of America, right?”

Me: “No.”

Man: “Oh, I get it. It must be Canada day. That’s when they pretend to be independent.”

Me: “Sir, we ARE independent. It’s a separate country. Different money, different government, different accents.”

Man: *winks to his wife* “Right…”
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"Does this smell like chloroform to you?" -infamous pick-up line of Terrence "Brasa" Webster (R.I.P.)

Loupy Lobo · Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 8:02 pm Post subject:

Actually, I remember one of those from when I was a teenager. I just submitted it to the website so maybe you'll see it there. My grandparents used to own a mobile food stand in Montana, they called it D's Chuck Wagon. One day my mom, my sister and I were helping out at some event and this happened.

A drunk customer approached the counter where my mom is handling customers and my grandma is cooking the burgers and such.

Customer: Give me a cheeseburger.

Mom: I'm sorry, but we've run out of cheese. Would you like a hamburger?

Customer: No, I want a g** d*** cheeseburger!

Mom: We don't HAVE any cheese.

(Argument continues at which point Grandma turns around...)

Grandma: How about I get you a cheeseburger and hold the cheese?

Customer: I don't care, just as long as I get a d*** cheeseburger!

*He happily accepted his cheeseless cheeseburger.*
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"Does this smell like chloroform to you?" -infamous pick-up line of Terrence "Brasa" Webster (R.I.P.)

Akuma · Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 8:09 pm Post subject:

Wow these are great, hahaha. Just showed the site to a few of my friends, hilarious.

stinkybrokenut · Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 5:09 am Post subject:

I posted one about a call I got when I was working in an autoparts store.
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