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Afraid of girls
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Lotan
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 6:21 am    Post subject: Afraid of girls Reply with quote

A while back Leedon made a post that included a little blurb about running into a girl "goggles" and his dealings with her. I found the whole story amusing, but the part about the girl especially so. I guess its my own social ineptness at times, or maybe that really was just the funny part of the story. At any rate, stories of nerds and girls always end up cracking me up, and I've got enough of them to fill a book by now I think. I thought it'd be funny to share a few, and read a few that others may want to share.

I'll start with a recent encounter that I had. This one isn't too bad on me, but in general a fairly amusing story I think(You can be the judge)... Its also easy to post since I typed it up as a story for a friend of mine.

Quote:
So, my mom is the head of the park’s and recreation for a major suburb of Phoenix. What that means to her is that she’s got good pay, security, and benefits. What that means to me is that I’ve been single for over a year, and she’s got about 75 girls from the ages of 18-30 working for her.

Truth be told I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years last summer, and my mom’s been worried about me. I counter her worry by giving her a hard time (Shocking coming from me huh?). So every time she asks me about girls I say, “Well, you’re the one sitting on a gold mine Mom… when are you going to swing the bat for me?”

This has been going on for a while with her, but its all in fun and games. Well, about a month or so ago I’m sitting at work and my mom calls me and asks if I want to go to lunch. I work about 30 miles from my mom, so I’ve never gone out to have lunch with her on a work day.
“Oh, are you downtown for another conference today mom? Where do you want to go?”
“No, I was wondering if you wanted to come up here”
“Uhm… I generally don’t take a 3 hour lunch”
“Well, its Friday… maybe you should”
”Did Grandma die?”

Well at that point in time, my brother’s girlfriend happened to be at my mom’s office so she grabbed the phone and informed me that there was a girl that my mom wanted me to meet. This made a lot more sense. I really figured my mom probably had horrible taste for me, and nothing would come of it. I generally hate a setup since I’m nervous as hell around all women, but I figured the sheer awkwardness of the whole thing was worth a trip, and it was Friday, and I wasn’t doing anything anyhow. So, I hop in the car and drive out there. My mom explains to me that she invited half the office since she didn’t want it to look like a setup.

So, I was lucky enough to get a seat across from this girl (Angela), and I really did like her. She was cute, fun, humorous, and had one of those smiles that makes you wish you always had something funny to say. My mom spent half of lunch trying to talk me up, and the other half of lunch trying to nonchalantly explain why I was at a now office lunch. I drove back to the office having had a good time, but knowing I’d probably never see the girl again. Like I said, I don’t exactly hang out at my mom’s office.

But of course my mom, being a mom, was really excited. About an hour later I get a call from her…
“I have good taste don’t I?”
“Great taste, you wanna go ring shopping with me this weekend? I wanna get a good one!”

Well, after that I start having an email conversation with my mom where I’m asking her all sorts of sarcastic questions, “Is she single? How does she feel about short guys? How tall was she anyhow? Does she like nerds? DS or PSP?” My mom responds later with an email detailing this girl’s dating history for the past few years which surprised me a little.

“Mom, what did you ask this poor girl? You’re her boss, you gotta play it cool”
“No, I played it real cool. I was just talking to her office-mate and I brought it up in conversation.”

Well, it turns out her office-mate (Stacy) is a friend of my sister’s. Later that day Stacy and my sister are talking…
“What’s up with your mom?”
“What do you mean?”
“Uhm… she just walked into my office and asked me if Angela was gay. When I said I didn’t think so she asked if she was dating anyone”
“Oh, my mom’s dumb and she’s trying to hook Angela up with my brother”

That was pretty much the end of the story for a while. I never figured on seeing this girl again, and it was no big deal. But a couple of weeks ago my sister went to happy hour with Stacy who just happened to bring Angela. That night I’m sitting at home playing video games or something when I get a text message:
“I’m at happy hour with Angela!!! Call me”
So I call my sister and we talk for a minute.
“The good news is I met Angela, and you’re right, she is great. She’s really cute, and a lot of fun. The bad news is she’s had a girlfriend for about a year and a half.”
“Mom is so getting fired for sexual in-sensitivity”


Lotan
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Izane Bricks
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 6:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha! That's great. I cannot aptly describe my appreciation for irony.
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Ryrra
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 7:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow that last line just supprised the heck out of me but I was laughing.
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Madhatte
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aw, man, ain't that just the breaks?
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khimaira
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your mom should have asked if Angela is bisexual.
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Leedon
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why do you got to bring me into this? That's not socially inept. Socially inept is... Nevermind...
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Lotan
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was more of a lead in.... I'll get to the bad stuff eventually.

Lotan
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Yobun
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 3:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i smell bad sitcom
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Izane Bricks
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

no, you just smell Leedon.
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Madhatte
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 4:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aw, man, you beat me to it.
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We are going to have to stick a pin in a map, set fire to something and carry on until the earth looks flat! -- RandyMac

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Leedon
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*busts through the door and looks around a moment while audience machine claps*

"My ears were burning, was someone talking about me?"

*Audience machine laughes*
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Lotan
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 7:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had a "long" version of this story typed out, but its probably only amusing to me... The short version is:

About a year and a half ago I took some computer sci classes, and ran into this girl:

Now I'm not sure how many of you have taken unix shell scripting, but when you walk into the classroom and see that girl there you assume you're in the wrong building.

I end up being in a group with this girl, and spend the entire semester looking for an "in" with her. There's many failed attempts and embarassing moments for me, but at the end of the semester I've gotten nowhere.

So the next semester around Valentine's day I run into her on campus. I'm really nervous as I often end up saying stupid things when I'm not prepared. Luckily I make it through the small conversation of pleasentries and "What are you taking this semester" type stuff without making a complete ass out of myself. She leaves and I breathe a sigh of relief that I didn't embarass myself.

But then she comes back about a half an hour later and says, "Hey Jesse.... would you like a kiss?" and slowly opens her hands to reveal a bunch of Hershey's Kisses. I sit there with my mouth open, but nothings coming out. That little voice in my head is saying, "Say something funny. Tell her, 'Shouldn't I at least buy you dinner first?'.... say something!" Finally something does come out, "I don't like chocalate"

She says, "Oh", and without much more walks away.

Lotan


Last edited by Lotan on Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:39 am; edited 1 time in total
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Mojobacca
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 9:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After waiting all that time for an "in" and you freeze... I bet you are going to regret that for a long time!

I'm sorry to see that. At least she talked to you. I seem to have a natural repulsor barrier around me that affects only women. The biggest problem with that is that all women want me.... half are in denial and the other half just don't know it yet.
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Leedon
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You need to reevaluate how much you don't like chocolate, dude.
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Leedon
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

<<
>>

So while I was unwittingly getting myself into the predicament I'm in now two years ago or so, I had to go get examined by a doctor. Standard stuff for re-entering. The reserve recruiter couldn't get me into a Navy doctor so he made an appointment with a civilian one and had the military pay for it.

When I arrived, it was a small waiting area and you could see that there wasn't much behind the counter as far as examining rooms or offices. There were two attractie nurses behind the receptions desk and they gave me some papers to fill out and the recuiter the papers to have the Navy pay.

When I was shown into one of the examining rooms, the more attractive of the two nurses started the normal vitals checks. I was a little nervous, having her hands all over my chest listenning to my breathing and heart beat. I noted that she was fairly nice and kind of funny from the small talk we made, which didn't help much.

She eventually got to my blood pressure, which she took once, made a funny face and then took again. Rather confused and without saying much she left the room and got the doctor. The doctor started taking my blood pressure and asked the nurse to step out to go get something. He made an odd face at me and when the nurse came in he said, "His blood pressure's normal. Could you step out for a second?" After she walked out he said, "You really need to relax around women." I can only assume that he was watching my blood pressure rise and fall as the hot chick came and went from the room.

-Lee
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Flirtin' with disaster,
Ya'll know what I mean.
You know the way we run our lives,
It makes no sense to me.


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Lotan
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now you're talkin!

That's awesome.

Lotan
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Ryrra
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 12:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Leedon I never would have expected that from you.
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 12:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So Lotan, if nothing ever panned out with that girl, how'd you get the picture? ...You are such a stalker, don't even lie. Seriously though, ain't no thang, you could have done alot worse in that situation. I've known people so socially handicapped they would have snatched the candy out of her hand, hid behind a tree and started chucking them at her when she wasn't looking.
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Leedon
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 12:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I felt the same thing happen when my current girlfriend walked by me when we were working together before we started going out. She had a boyfriend when I first met her, and when I found that out there was no pressure. It's easier for me to talk to women who are taken. After they broke up, I didn't find out until much later, so I was still able to talk to her somewhat. She was as nervious as I was on our first date, but we already knew each other for a few months, so once we got past our initial "we need to impress each other" phase, it worked out great.
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Flirtin' with disaster,
Ya'll know what I mean.
You know the way we run our lives,
It makes no sense to me.


-Flirtin' with Disaster, Molly Hatchet
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Lotan
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 12:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I could write a book about my dealings with that girl....

I'll call it "Jesse B and the Chronicles of Doom".

She happens to have a very interesting first name, and a very interesting last name. For the sake of anonymity, I won't tell you her first name, but her last name is "Doom".

Charcole has told me that if I were to ever be so lucky as to marry her I'd have to take her last name. And if I do that, then I'm obligated to go back to school and get my Phd. Now that I think about it, her dad may have a Phd in Physics making him Dr. Doom.

At any rate, later that semester we passed each other in the hall and she had a distraught look on her face. I asked her if everything was okay and she told me she was having trouble in her C++ course. When I first attended school at ASU, everything was taught in C++, but they had recently switched to Java, so every class was in Java except one class where you had a brief intro to C++. I didn't really have the balls to say much then as I'd been shutdown once before, but later I emailed her and said something like, "I know a thing or two about C, so if you ever need any help just let me know"

To my surprise she responded, and I ended up finally having my "in". We've kind of become friends over the past year and a half.

Lotan
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