 |
The Blue Elephant Brigade Games, Anime, Movies, Life
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
Resheph Brigadier Commando


Joined: 29 Mar 2005 Posts: 2778 Location: Danbury, CT
|
Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 6:59 pm Post subject: The random story thread |
|
|
Well the talk of Vet stories in the other thread got me thinking. I'm sure we all have extremely random stories that are funny, sad, deranged, or otherwise entertaining.
I'll start it off.....
A friend of mine works in the ER of the local hospital. I was at the bar one day enjoying my beer, flirting with my wife to be, when my buddy comes in with the strangest look on his face. I've heard all sorts of weird shit from him before, but never seen him so disturbed. So of course I asked what was up. Then he tells me the story....
A woman comes running into the ER in hysterics, telling the nurses behind the counter "You've got to help my husband! He's in a lot of pain! Please help him!"
The nurses rush out from behind the desk and follow the woman outside, asking questions along the way. They get to her car, to find her husband laying on his side in the back seat. The guy is in obvious pain, and pantless, but they can't see why. The wife tells the nurses that he's a paraplegic, and he has a rolling pin lodged in his ass. She explains that being a paraplegic, prostate stimulation is the only way he can feel anything, and their normal 'play' took a turn for the worse.
Mind you, there's quite a few people in the bar, and when he starts telling me this story, people start listening. By the time he mentions the part about "a rolling pin lodged in his anus" everyone starts dieing. The owner spit beer all over his table, the bartender (my future wife) dropped a full glass of wine, etc.
Then of course, the obligatory questions started coming from random people....
"How did he get a rolling pin in his ass?"
"Why a rolling pin?!"
"If he's a paraplegic, how'd she get him in the car?"
The place was in absolute hysterics, I was crying I was laughing so hard. _________________
Trassin wrote: | From now on when I see some disgusting chick with a kid and think to myself, "who the fuck slept with that?" I'm just going to start assuming it was you, Ex. |
midget wrote: | vagina = chaos |
CrushFearSynth wrote: | She thinks I'm weird compared to you? Dude, I thought you should audition for American Serial Killer when I met you. |
|
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Madhatte Brigadier Survivor


Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 7948 Location: Olympia, WA
|
Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 7:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
That's incredible.
I got nothing. _________________ We live in an amazing, amazing world, and it's wasted on the crappiest generation of spoiled idiots. -- Louis CK
We are going to have to stick a pin in a map, set fire to something and carry on until the earth looks flat! -- RandyMac
I could teach you to how file a washer to make it worth a nickel but if you really want to make big bucks just take a penny and drill a hole in it and it becomes a washer and is worth a dime. -- Art Martin, Old-Time Logger |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
CrushFearSynth Brigadier Survivor


Joined: 13 Dec 2005 Posts: 9017 Location: Sterling, VA
|
Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 10:48 am Post subject: |
|
|
Dude, one of THE most common ER procedures is removing objects from a male's rectum.
And it just so happens I have a story to contribute in that fashion. No, not about me, schmucks. I always have lube handy for those little accidents.
One of the doctors that used to work for my practice was an ER doc a long time ago. One day, they had to remove an Action Man talking action figure from a guy's ass. Once they got it out, it actually said "Action Man, always ready for adventure!" To which Dr. Kim replied, "I think you've seen enough action for one day, Action Man!" Hilarity ensued. At the expense of an extremely embarrassed, and extremely deserving, patient. _________________ "The cheese stands alone." - Madhatte |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Mongolio Brigadier Elite


Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 4976
|
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:23 am Post subject: |
|
|
The guy in the cube next to me interjected in my and another coworker's conversation about a movie. He asked "What movie? Was it "A Bucket of Dicks, Part 2"? I told him "That's an interesting name for a movie." He said "I just pulled it out of my ass.".
*crickets* _________________ Core meltdown (commonly known as a meltdown) is an accident scenario in nuclear reactors, and is one of the possible modes of failure for light water reactors, during which the reactor pile turns into a pile of reactor.
---RationalWiki
If Jesus had existed, his DNA would have been 99% similar to that of a chimpanzee. Or you. You're 99% Jesus.
-- RationalWiki |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Exzavier Brigadier Commando


Joined: 29 Mar 2005 Posts: 3329 Location: Richmond, VA
|
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:55 am Post subject: |
|
|
The 'hick' lady at work was talking one day and said she was stopped at a traffic light. She said she beeped because the car in front was not going when it turned green. She said "Next thing I know they were shootin' at me!" And she tried to follow them for awhile to get the plate number.
No one in my team knows if this is true or not. _________________ "Fuckin' Amesome" --- Joe Flacco
"I love watching special effects on my iPad." ---Howard Stern |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Mongolio Brigadier Elite


Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 4976
|
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:29 am Post subject: |
|
|
That's a story my 11-year-old would tell. He is (unfortunately) becoming infamous for his terribly constructed "true stories". _________________ Core meltdown (commonly known as a meltdown) is an accident scenario in nuclear reactors, and is one of the possible modes of failure for light water reactors, during which the reactor pile turns into a pile of reactor.
---RationalWiki
If Jesus had existed, his DNA would have been 99% similar to that of a chimpanzee. Or you. You're 99% Jesus.
-- RationalWiki |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Trassin Brigadier Legate


Joined: 30 Mar 2005 Posts: 10149 Location: Malabo, Equatorial Guinea
|
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:37 am Post subject: |
|
|
Monkeys! _________________ The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honorable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. - Albert Einstein
"Raccoons oscillate at 50Hz in Europe." - FAWBOTS
"I'm not sure I'm up for orgy scrabble parties" - Female Friend |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
CrushFearSynth Brigadier Survivor


Joined: 13 Dec 2005 Posts: 9017 Location: Sterling, VA
|
Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:07 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Monkey rape. _________________ "The cheese stands alone." - Madhatte |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
|